


Bad Idea Number 53

by KaeBird13



Series: A Sunday Afternoon [3]
Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman (Comics), Supergirl (Comics), Superman (Comics)
Genre: Humor, Multi, Polyamory, no seriously this is complete crack, ridiculously bad disguises, sequel to Coffee in a Paper Cup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 20:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10047866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaeBird13/pseuds/KaeBird13
Summary: "Jon and I wish to do something that we need an adult for. My father would not approve and I am unwilling to ask either Pennyworth or Grayson. It is time consuming and most likely a little bit illegal.""Hold up," Steph put up a hand. "You had me at Bruce wouldn't approve. I'm in."Or, Stephanie dabbles in grand theft auto, Cassie realizes that she should have left things alone, and Kara learns that just because it worked in that one Disney show does NOT mean she should try it at home.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlmondRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/gifts).



> Another CassieStephKara fic! Yay! As always, this fic is dedicated to Rosie because without her I never would have started to ship these three :)

Kara could count the number of times she had been inside the Wayne manor on one hand. She stared up at the ceiling with its colorful stone inlays and marveled at how utterly expensive everything looked. There was rich and then there was I-own-several-islands rich, and it wasn't hard to guess which one Bruce Wayne was. The items in the lavish sitting room she was lounging in probably cost more than her entire apartment building. She was awkwardly perched on a plush recliner that was actually much harder than it looked, waiting patiently as Alfred returned with two cups of tea. Hmm, if she thought about it, Kara was probably the second reporter ever allowed in the manor for just a social visit, her cousin being the first.

The butler returned with the beverage and passed her a pretty china tea set, which Kara took with trembling hands. She would not drop it or break it or damage it in any way. "Thank you, Alfred."

"My pleasure, Miss Danvers," Alfred took a seat across from her with his own cup of tea. "Thank you for agreeing to take my afternoon tea with me. It's always a treat to hear how you've been."

Would it be rude to pull out her phone to check the time? Probably. In any other situation she would just do it, but she would feel guilty to do it in front of the butler. Alfred had an air about him that commanded respect. She could definitely see where Bruce got it from. "Unfortunately I don't have long. I just came to drop Jon off for his play date with Damian," Nevermind the fact that if her cousin's son ever heard her refer to his outings with the youngest Robin as a 'play date', he would probably try to bite her. "I have a story I really need to start writing, so I only have a few minutes."

Alfred blinked and hummed his understanding. "Then I shall endeavor to not keep you long. Do you have enough time to visit with Mistress Stephanie? I know that she was planning to visit today and she will be sorely disappointed to have missed you."

Ah yes, her girlfriend, Kara thought with regret. She hadn't told Steph that she was dropping by Gotham cause she knew there wasn't enough time to meet with her. Kara really needed to start working on this new story. "No, I don't think so."

Her enhanced hearing warned her that there was somebody stomping outside before Steph trooped into the sitting room, as if summoned by their words. "Don't think what? Oh my god, Kara! I didn't know you were coming up today!"

Kara winced, her omission not settling well in her gut. "I just came by to drop Jon off."

Alfred coughed courteously. "Pardon me, I am needed in the kitchen,"

The Kryptonian watched him leave with anxious eyes, part of her grateful for some time alone with her girlfriend, the other part was digging for the right words to tell Steph that she had to leave immediately. "Hey Steph-"

"Brown!" A voice that was much too young to be growling in that way interrupted her. Into the living room trudged Damian Wayne with his trademark scowl marring his face and Jon skipping faithfully along at his heels. "I am," He paused there as if the next words were physically painful to speak. "In need of your assistance."

Those words coming from Damian was enough to make even Kara extremely suspicious. Jon had an innocent look on his face, but he gave Kara a sly wink. Steph, sharing Kara's mindset, narrowed her eyes and regarded Damian the same way someone might regard a particularly difficult puzzle. "...Why?"

Folding his arms, Damian gave Steph the same look she was directing at him. "Jon and I wish to do something that we need an adult for. My father would not approve and I am unwilling to ask either Pennyworth or Grayson. It is time consuming and most likely a little bit illegal."

"Hold up," Steph put up a hand. "You had me at Bruce wouldn't approve. I'm in. What are you thinking?"

"Bad Idea Number 53," Damian responded. Kara had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but from the slow grin that lit up Stephanie's face, she knew it wasn't good.

Her girlfriend turned to her, looking contrite. "I am so sorry, Kara, but I have to go. Tell you what, I'll take you to dinner tonight. Somewhere fancy and expensive. Damian will pay."

"No I won't."

"Do you want me to buy spray paint?"

"...Father will pay for it."

"Isn't that what I said?"

...Spray paint? The more Kara heard of this conversation, the more worried she became. She looked at Jon, but the boy refused to meet her gaze. Of course a ten year old would jump at any chance to make mischief. "O-kay?"

With a click of his tongue, Damian whirled around and clomped away. "C'mon, Brown, let's go."

Kara watched the three of them hurry away, her forgotten tea cooling in her hands. This... This made her feel very uneasy. She gave it a moment of thought before deciding firmly that her story could wait another day. Placing the tea on the coffee table in front of her, Kara pulled out her phone and quickly dialed a number.

It rang twice before the other person answered. "Hey, Cassie," Kara greeted.

" _Hey love, what's up?"_

"Are you able to meet me in Gotham today?"

" _...Probably. Why?"_

Eyes never leaving the doorway her other girlfriend exited minutes before, Kara sighed. "We need to keep Steph from getting arrested."

" _I'll be there in a hour."_

Muttering her thanks, Kara hung up.

* * *

They passed by Alfred on the way out of the manor, and the butler gave them a curious eyebrow raise. Steph saluted him but made no comment.

"So, where exactly are we going?" Jon questioned as he avoided looking at Alfred directly, feeling as if the older gentleman was giving him an accusatory glare. His mom would _definitely_ throw a fit if she found out about their plans for today.

"Walmart," Stephanie replied.

Damian tisked. "Must we really go to that corrupted corporate monopoly?"

"Hey," The adult member of the trio patted him on the head. Jon remembered a talk his dad once had with him about finding a responsible adult in times of crisis, and he had a feeling that Stephanie Brown would not meet that requirement. Damian flushed at her show of affection and jerked his head away. "Do you know of any other place that sells spray paint for cheap?"

His silence answered for him.

"Um, guys," Jon tentatively raised a hand. "Just how are we going to get there? I'm not flying the both of you. I think my dad would not be very happy if I did."

"We'll take one of my father's many vehicles." Damian responded flippantly. "I would drive, but I'm not of legal age and cannot risk getting pulled over."

"Again," Stephanie added. "Calling Bruce to get you out of juvie would really throw a wrench in our plans, wouldn't it?"

The older boy hummed his consent. "Therefore, Brown will drive one of my father's vehicles."

They turned to look at Stephanie who had pursed her lips and was looking at the ceiling. "Um..."

Damian's shoulders drooped minutely. "Father locked you out of all of his vehicles again, didn't he?"

"There was this thing... with one of the vipers... You know what? It doesn't matter, cause I have something better than access to one of Bruce's sports cars." Steph dug into her pocket and pulled out a set of keys, which she jangled in Damian's face. Jon watched his face light up in disbelief. "They keys to Tim's car."

Jon decided he did not like the twin grins on Damian's and Stephanie's faces. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...

* * *

"Kara."

"Not now, Cassie. They have just exited the car, black with license plate 'R-Robbin'. Suspects are Stephanie Brown, Jonathan Kent, and Damian Wayne. They are to be considered armed and highly dangerous. Their objective, we don't know. Their motivations, all three are trouble makers with a penchant for the devious."

"Kara."

The Kryptonian waved Cassie's concerns away as she continued to trail after the trio who had just entered the store. Cassie sighed, feeling overheated and uncomfortable in the outfit Kara had stuffed her into before they began their sleuthing expedition. If she looked anything like her girlfriend, it was no wonder they were getting weird looks from strangers as they trotted into Walmart.

"Suspects are approaching the spray paint aisle." Kara informed Cassie, as if she too were not watching. Jon said something which made Damian look up at him and growl. Stephanie laughed and lightly punched his arm. The fake mustache perched on her upper lip itched and Cassie wanted nothing more to rip it off. The trench coat was too heavy for the early fall season, and the fedora on her head made her feel like one of those disgusting 'but I'm a nice guy!' dudes.

"Kara," Cassie started for the third time but did not wait to give her girlfriend a chance to interrupt again. "Of all the stupid plans you've come up with, this is by far the worst one to date. And trust me, that is really saying something."

"Oh hush now," Kara chided. She squeaked and grabbed Cassie's arm, tugging them both behind a clothing rack as Jon turned around and looked behind him with a frown. "I've seen this disguise tactic work plenty of times before!"

Cassie's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. "Have you now? And by any chance was it in a television show?"

"...It might have been."

"And that show, could it have been, per say, a Disney show?"

"...Maybe?"

Cassie groaned and slapped her hand to her forehead. "Kara... What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me," Kara replied instantly. "Look, they're on the move, c'mon!"

They followed Steph, Damian, and Jon to the checkout stand and stood roughly fifteen yards away. Cassie pretended to check out an art set they had in one of the clearance bins as Stephanie unloaded approximately thirty cans of spray paint, all various colors, onto the conveyor. The cashier, an older guy with a permanently exhausted set to his face sighed at Stephanie's cheeky grin. Kara heard him ask for identification and Stephanie slapped her driver's license onto the counter, proving that she was over eighteen years of age.

They waited until Damian had finished loading Jon up with bags and trailed them back out of the store.

"Hm," Kara mused as Stephanie stuffed the last bag of spray paint into the trunk. "Do you think that that's maybe Tim's car?"

Cassie looked at the license plate. "Oh really? What gave it away?"

"The fact that Damian is spray painting the tires pink."

The current Robin finished with a malicious cackle and proudly placed his hands on his hips, admiring his work.

"Hm," Cassie pursed her lips. "It's actually a good color."

The last of the delinquents hopped into the car and Steph turned over the engine and peeled away. If their fake mustaches and fedoras and trench coats made them seem a little suspicious, Cassie imagined that flying to help them catch up to the car wasn't doing them any favors. Tim's car entered into Gotham's famous city traffic and slowed down to nearly a complete stop, allowing the two superpowered girls to land in an alley and slip back into the crowd.

"So, where do you think they're going?" Kara asked as the light the car was stuck at turned green and traffic resumed at a slug's pace.

Cassie shrugged, completely baffled. "Honestly? No clue. The spray paint makes me think they're going to vandalize something."

Kara nodded. "My thoughts exactly. But you know them, they wouldn't vandal just any random thing. It's gotta have some meaning, something that would disappoint Mr. Wayne or make him angry."

"Right," Part of Wonder Girl's plastic mustache broke off and flew up into her nose. She sneezed and rubbed it out. "Maybe one of the Wayne Industry buildings? A hideout for one of the rogues?"

The light ahead turned red, stopping the car. The two blonde woman dwaddled at one of the side stores, looking at the wares through the window. Cassie saw the employee inside give them a second glance with a suspicious crease between her eyebrows and grabbed Kara's elbow, dragging her away. "Okay, let's do what you were doing before and think this case through like Batman. Who was the one who brought up the plan?"

"Damian," Kara shuddered. "He said Mr. Wayne wouldn't like it and that it was illegal."

"The two things that guarantee Stephanie's help," Cassie shook her head. "Okay, did they give you any other hints?"

Kara pulled her mouth to the side, her mustache peeling partially off her face. She pushed it back on with two fingers. "They called it 'bad idea number 53'."

"I have no idea what that means."

"Me neither."

The light changed again and they started after the car. Kara supposed if she had been casting her senses out everywhere instead of focusing intently on her target, she could have seen what happened next coming and avoided it. Three burly men pushed their way in between Kara and Cassie, and a particularly rough shove sent an unexpecting Kara right into the street. She heard a honk and saw the flash of lights right before something crashed right into her.

There was the awful crunch of bending metal and more furious honks. If she had been anyone else, this would have been the scene of a tragedy. A poor girl who tumbled onto the road and met a terrible, terrible fate. However, she was not anyone else, she was Kara Zor-el, Supergirl, and not even a bullet could pierce her skin. Kara looked down at the front bumper that had wrapped around her unmoving leg and then back up at the stunned driver of the vehicle. Oops.

The middle age man leapt out of his fancy cherry-red porsche and gestured to the damaged bumper and the undamaged girl. "What did you do to my car?"

"Um," Kara laughed anxiously. "Sorry?"

They were getting a _lot_ of looks now and Cassie glanced around ardently. She ran out to the road and gripped Kara's hand. "Babe," She said in a low voice. "We gotta get out of here."

"I'm calling the police!" The man warned and pulled out his phone.

"Now!" Cassie took off into the air and lugged Kara up with her. They flew away to the cries of startled civilians.

Every time they tried to land, the sound of wailing sirens forced them back on the run. They tried keeping to the rooftops, but the police were too good at shadowing Batman while he and his crew chased after criminals. They tried ducking through alleys, but that was about as effective as the rooftops. Cassie wanted to leave; the two of them could be out of Gotham faster than one could say 'oh no, it's da popo', but Kara was adamant that they keep up the search for Stephanie and the boys. She claimed it was because they had to keep Stephanie from going to jail and put an end to their shenanigans before it got the younger two in trouble. (Really it was because she had promised Clark she would bring Jon home in one piece and she couldn't do that if he got booked for drawing a dick on a Wayne technologies building. Was Jon even the type to spray paint a dick onto a wall? He was a ten year old boy, and that's the type of crap she would expect a prepubescent boy to pull, but _Clark_ was his father.)

Three hours passed of playing cat and mouse with the entire Gotham city police department. A conversation overheard by Kara on one of the police scanners informed them that the car Kara had destroyed belonged to the mayor. Because why wouldn't it be someone less important? It was just their luck. It couldn't have been some random dude's car which the police would make a note of and then quickly forget about, it just _had_ to be the freaking mayor.

Cassie was starting to feel out of breath when they stopped outside of a bookstore to finally ditch their disguises. (Kara had been reluctant to lose the clothing that she said belonged to one of her reporter friends. Cassie straight up told her that she would buy him new ones if she had to, but there was no way she was wearing this any longer.)

A polite cough sounded behind the duo. Cassie froze, one arm still in the trench coat. She and Kara exchanged hard glances and the Kryptonian nodded, her mouth set in a grim line. They whirled around, prepared to fight their way out if needed, and came face to face with Cassandra Cain and Harper Row.

"Hey guys," Harper cocked her head to the side. In one hand she carried a bag full of books and had Cass's hand snugly gripped in the other. "Whatcha doing there?"

"Nothing," Cassie said with wide eyes.

"Running from the law." Kara sighed.

The shriek of sirens and the pounding of boots turned the corner and Cassie could feel her heartbeat pounding viciously in her throat. She had never been arrested before. Suddenly she felt herself moving as Cassandra shoved her and Kara into the bookstore they were standing by. They smiled at the lady watching from the sales counter and ducked down the row of books.

"What's going on out there?" Cassie whispered.

Kara held her hand up to her lips. "Officers have just asked Harper and Cass if they've seen us. Harper told them we went south. ...Okay, I think we're good now."

They slunk out of the store to join with the other two girls. Both of whom looked highly amused. Cassie rubbed the back of her neck and abashedly shrugged. "Thanks for that."

"Do we want to know what happened?" Harper asked.

"It's... a long story." With one last sigh, Kara tore off the fake mustache. Looking back at the events of the day, she probably should have gone back to her city and written her story. Hindsight was 20/20 after all.

"Somebody hit Kara with their car and was surprised when it died instead of her." Cassie offered. Okay, so maybe not that long of a story after all. "And that somebody just so happened to be the mayor."

Harper and Cass winced. "Oh, damn. The mayor is pretty fond of his car."

"So..." Kara started and then trailed off. "Out buying... books?"

Cass smiled sweetly. "Wanted to start a new series."

"And we're trying to find Stephanie." Harper added. Cassie almost laughed out loud. "She stole Tim's car, apparently, and hasn't been answering her phone."

Kara grumbled in annoyance. "We don't know _where_ Stephanie is, but we do know that she's out doing something with Damian and Jon."

"That," Harper grimaced. "Is very concerning. We'll keep an eye out for explosions then and the sound of human suffering."

"Boom," Cass nodded solemnly. "Probably Damian's fault."

Kara's ears picked up the sound of somebody running towards them and she tensed, ready to have another bout with Gotham's police. She had never been in an antagonistic relationship with a police force before; the ones in her city respected her as Supergirl and even as Kara Danvers she had never so much as even jaywalked. It was a new feeling, and she didn't quite like it.

It was just Tim Drake, however, his face red as he muttered foul curses under his breath. "Harper, Cass! Any luck in finding Miss 'you let me borrow your car one time so I made a copy of the key' Brown? Oh, hi there, Kara. Cassie."

"Tim."

"Sup, dude. Long time no see."

Cass shook her head and Harper rolled her shoulders. "No, but Kara and Cassie are looking for her too. It seems that she's with Damian though."

Tim's face went as white as a ghost. "Oh no."

Several seconds ticked by as Tim stared into the void. Cass let go of Harper's hand to poke him on the nose. He did not move. Cassie watched the other Cassandra examine the shirt he was wearing and finger the sleeves of the material. The black haired girl nodded in appreciation and waggled her eyebrows at Harper. That seemed to break Tim out of his trance. "It's a brand new shirt, Cass. Give me a few weeks to enjoy it and then you can borrow it."

"Spoilsport," Cass stuck out her tongue.

Looking up at the sky, Tim sighed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. "I'm never going to get my car back, am I?"

"Just to think," Cassie raised her head up to stare at the clear Gotham sky with Tim, wondering why she ever came to this cursed city in the first place. "We were so sure that Stephanie was the one who was going to get arrested."

* * *

They worked without talking much, listening to music drift out of Tim's car radio. Damian had his tongue poking out of his lips and he held his hand out to Steph without looking away from his project. She plopped a can of teal paint in his palm and munched on a couple of twizzlers. The music halted for commercials and for the DJs to make a few comments of their own. Steph tuned most of it out, until a few words caught her attention.

"...An unusual case of hit-and-run, if I say so myself, Jimmy."

"That's right, Maria. Instead of the car speeding away after hitting the victim, it was the _victim_ who ran away after being hit by the car! Talk about strange."

"Oh it's no laughing matter, Jimmy. Mayor Abramson is saying that it was an attack on his life by an unidentified meta human. I wonder if Batman is going to be on this case."

"Ooh, I wouldn't want to be that meta if that's the truth, Maria! The suspect is said to have been wearing a black trench coat and hat. The mayor said that his attacker and their accomplice both had thick mustaches, though other witnesses to the crime described them as feminine with long blonde hair. If that's not suspicious, I don't know what is!"

"Talk about the classic disguise gag, Jimmy!"

Huh, Steph stopped chewing her snack. That was weird. She could have sworn she saw two people matching that description shopping at Walmart the same time they were there. Oh well, it was probably a coincidence.

Jon sidled up close to Damian. "Should we tell her that Cassie and Kara were following us earlier?" He said in a voice quiet enough that only Damian could hear him.

The other boy scoffed. "If she hasn't figured it out by now, she never will. Now pass me the violet. No, that's lavender you idiot, I said violet."

Their relatively quiet affair grew even more silent as the radio gave a whine and then the battery on Tim's care unceremoniously died. The two children swung their heads to look at Stephanie, whose twizzler had fallen from her lips.

"Oops."

* * *

Bruce Wayne was looking over financial plans for one of the many departments of Wayne Enterprises, the news providing background noise, when his son and Stephanie Brown waltzed into the lounge. He glanced at them and then back down at his paper and then back up again. He lowered the document in suspicion. Both of them looked entirely too smug, and he knew from past experiences that spelled bad things for him personally. Did Stephanie 'borrow' one of his cars again and take it for a joyride at one of the local racing rinks? No, he had made all of his cars Brown-proof and not even Tim could reverse it.

"Hey, Brucie," Stephanie quipped when she saw him. "I didn't know you were going to be home this early."

His ire grew as Damian hid colorful fingers behind his back. "What did you guys do?" He asked, his mouth pressed into a thin line.

Stephanie gasped and held her hand up to her mouth. She looked down at the navy blue stripe that ran from her knuckles down to her elbow and joined Damian in covering the evidence with her back. "What makes you think we did something?"

"To assume that we have gotten into trouble is very rude, father." Damian pointed out.

Bruce put the paper down on the coffee table. "I never said anything about trouble."

Damian tisked as Stephanie's eyes slid toward the television. Bruce followed her gaze and watched as the news coverage changed. A reporter was standing underneath a bridge, in front of an impressive depiction of Robin and Spoiler in a heated battle with Killer Croc painted on the underside of the rocky structure. It still looked fresh.

"Did you two have anything to do with that?"

"So," Stephanie stretched an arm over Damian's shoulders. "Jon came over today. Kara took him home not even half an hour ago. She seemed pretty pissed with me. Any tips on how to make up with an angry girlfriend, Bruce? That seems like your area of expertise."

"I am insulted that you would even insinuate that we had anything to do with that, father."

Duke walked into the room, chewing on an apple. "Do with what?" He looked at the television and understanding dawned on him. "Oh, isn't that your Bad Idea Number 47?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Steph answered the same time Damian corrected with "Fifty-three."

The blonde girl kicked the shorter boy in the shins. "Good going, demon child, you just gave us away!"

"It was actually your hands that did that," Bruce deadpanned, already calculating how much it was going to cost to have the graffiti removed.

Stephanie pursed her lips. "I'm not cleaning it up."

"Brown," Bruce tried to convey all of his displeasure with that single word.

"What? Look, the people are loving it! That part of town really needs more tourism, it's going to do wonders for the economy."

"Brown."

"You're not the boss of me, and I don't actually live here, so... Peace out, home scouts."

"Brown," Damian this time. "You are not going to abandon me to take the brunt of the punishment."

Stephanie stopped from where she was skipping to the door, her face eerily void of emotions. She looked Damian up and down, taking in his irked demeanor. She then looked at Duke, gave him a nod, turned to Bruce and winked. Uh-oh. Stephanie reached down into her pant pocket and as quick as fox, flung something into Damian's face. "Distraction glitter, hiya!"

Damian shrieked as he was coated in purple sparkly specks and Steph bolted from the room. Bruce blinked as his son flapped about, vainly trying to rid himself of the invasive substance. Duke almost dropped his apple with his loud guffaws. Perhaps it was time for him to move out of his own manor.

He was entirely used to his various children popping in and out of rooms, so it was no surprise when Tim stormed into the lounge seconds later. His third eldest son had a scowl on his face that deepened the moment he saw Damian. "Has anybody seen Stephanie?"

Duke pointed to the other door. "She literally just left."

With a frustrated roar, Tim stomped after her, his fists clenched. "I need my car back!"

"Master Bruce, you would like-" Alfred popped his head in and his sentence abruptly cut off as he took in the glitter that was now scattered over every inch of the room thanks to Damian's struggles. "Oh dear. I take it Miss Brown has been by?"

Surrounded by chaos, Bruce raised an eyebrow. "What gave it away?"


End file.
